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This article was created by Bugzy. Though the user in question has quit, their legacy lives on in this piece of literary brilliance, Underground PWN Mafia.

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Underground PWN Mafia
Underground PWN Mafia image
All of the Mafia Lords
Underground PWN Mafia map
Birds Eye View of their Hideout
Vital statistics
Type Building
Location Unknown to the Public,
Only Gangsters May Enter
Inhabitants Gangsters, Mafia, Criminals

The Underground PWN Mafia are a group of elite penguins and creatures, skilled in the art of PWNage. Most of them dabble in criminal activities and are the main crime lords of the USA.

Mafia Rulers

All of the gangsters and crimminals associated or that have had dealings with the Underground PWN Mafia follow the words of the Mafia Rulers. The Mafia Rules consist of the following creatures;

  • Bugzy Rank: Godfather/Capodecina; Bugzy is the main ringleader in the Underground PWN Mafia, and is in charge of the main Doom Weed smugglings, protection money, robbers, and a plethora of others. Out of the Mafia, he is the main target of the PSA, since if Bugzy goes down, then the whole Mafia itself goes down. He is rather good at law and sometimes is called a "gangsta lawya."
  • GANGSTA G Rank: Underboss; Although GANGSTA G also runs the Modfia (in the Geek Empire), he has been in PWN Mafia before he founded Modfia, and holds strong connections between the two. Modfia and the Underground PWN Mafia are allies and GANGSTA G usually calls in the Modfia for technical requirements and hacking/cracking.
  • Link Rank: Consigliere; Link being one of the most famous crimminals in the USA, was invited to join the Underground PWN Mafia, and was promoted to a Made Man. Link has accumulated a lot of great power and respect in the gang, even after he quit. Though he is now good, he is still highly respected in the UPM, to the point of still being included in the logo. He has recently been involved with the UPM lately.
  • King Snowkinian Rank: Consigliere; King Snowkinian is one of the funny ones out of the mafia, and even made a rap song about them. Most of the lyrics are MAH BOI, and THIS MAFIA IS WHAT ALL TRUE WARRIORS STRIVE FOR! Due to the excessive use of the gangsta word "Boi", King Snowkinian is a very high rank in the Mafia eventhough he's OFFICIALLY ranked Soldato.
  • ClockWerk Rank: Consigliere; Although considered a Petty Thief to the public, Clockwerk is in charge of the underground money dealings, and issues High Class Heists and Bank Robberies. Clockwerk has also been the ringleader in a group of rogue bandits whom break into igloo's and steal their cash. When Link quit he was promated to Capodecina.


The Underground PWN Mafia was first formed on 29th May, 2001. The Mafia was not very well known, and only began to do small crimes such as shoplifting, littering, vandalism and a plethora of others. Eventually the word on the street spread about them, and many gangs of penguins and creatures wanted to join the family, mainly for thrills, excitement, and protection.

The Underground PWN Mafia became very big, but they lost many numbers when they waged a collosal mob war between the UTK Clan since many of them could not accept that they might get pwned and left the gang for good. After the snowball fight, the Underground PWN Mafia needed some new recruits. Many of these new recruits were the current Mafia Lords, Bugzy, Link, King Snowkinian, ClockWerk, and GANGSTA G. Although they were all piccotios and were worthless according to all of the other mobsters, these piccotio formed their own gang in the Mafia with no Capodecina (all gangs are led by a Capodecina) known as the Fiendish Five.

The Fiendish Five (Bugzy, King Snowkinian, Link, ClockWerk, GANGSTA G) pulled many capers of absolute pwnage. From hi-jacking a sled, to robbing a bank with security as tight as Fort Lox, The Fiendish Five became very popular in the underground, and were bestowed with great power and respect.

Unfortunately, the Godfather of the Underground PWN Mafia during that time died due to old age. He stated that he had a happy life serving in the gang, and in his will, stated that he wanted The Fiendish Five to take his place as the Five Crime Lords. Currently, the ones once known as The Fiendish Five serve their purpose and lead the Underground PWN Mafia to victory. Some of them have even developed gangs which joined the Mafia, such as Bugzy and ClockWerk being in the RV Clan and GANGSTA G founding the Modfia (which deals in more nerdy affairs). The 3 gangs hold dear respect towards one another and help each other out in any way they can.

However there are also rivals; the Metro Dark Gang is a Mafia which rivals the UPM. Although less known and less PWNSOME it's more evil and uses horrifying methods of torture to UPM members. The UKT Clan is also still a rival but less powerful then both of the mafias. Although there arn't any mob wars between these Mafias relations are absolutly appalling. There could be a mob war sooner or later.


The Underground PWN Mafia's Hideout is rumoured to be located within an alleyway in the USA. There is a lot of security down in certain alleyways, with search lights, laser beams, electronic floor sensors, and security cameras. It is very suspicious as to why such measures of security have been placed in these peculiar spots, and the PSA is confident that is where the Underground PWN Mafia is located, since there is many graffiti along the alleyway with the graffiti tag "Pwn" written all over the walls. Not many penguins know the specific locations of this alley, since there are many alleys in the USA, but there is something odd about this one that draws attention.

If one successfully evades the security or has clearance, and inputs the 6 digit code to enter the security door, they are treated to a large mansion, with an estimated round of 600,000,000 pebbles inside the mansion's Loot Stash. The actual mansion takes up 10 sq kilometres, and it is easy to get lost in the great halls. Gangsters and other thugs swarm the place, so it is very easy to get caught, and thrown into the Hostage Cells, where spies are forced to listen to polka music.


If you are a thug, gangster, crimminal, or any other form of outlaw, you may come here for protection, and to plan heists and other crimminal activities with your fellow gangsters. There are almost no rules in the hideout, the only rules are that you must pay respect to all gangsters and others associated with the Underground PWN Mafia, and that you must verify permission from one of the head honchos before pulling a heist. Swearing is also forbidden, since King Snowkinan declared that "swearing is NOT what all ture Mafias strive for". You may not break things in the hideout. However, the Bathrooms also serve as a small minispace for graffiti artists, where they show off their work.

When visiting the mansion, visitors should learn about the following places;

  • Front Yard: This is where many gangsters station as either lookouts, or just being plain destructive. This is the only area that is allowed to be completely vandalized.
  • Corridors: The long twisting corridors of the mansion stretch out very far, and a kilometre of red carpet is used for the corridors. It is easy to get lost here, as some of the rooms also serve as hotels for other gangsters, where they may sleep for the night.
  • Headquarters / Dining Tables: This is where gangsters and the Head Honchos come to discuss about events that have happened with the public, certain exploits and scams, and to eat meals of dinner, provided by King Snowkinian.
  • Loot Stash: When a gangster comes into the building, he/she must contribute a portion of their stealings and loot to the Loot Stash. The stolen loot from the Loot Stash is equivalent to £600,000,000 pebbles in normal USA currency.
  • Hostage Cells: If a gangster has taken hostages in for their crimminal deeds, the hostages are thrown in the cells. The gangsters give them portions of food and water from the Dining Tables. They are forced to listen to endless polka until they are released.


Inhabitants are mainly all things related to thugs, crimminals, and gangsters. Notable recurring gangsters are;


Since its a Mafia Headquarters and league, everyone and everything associated with the Underground PWN Mafia is considered a villain.


King Snowkinian serves his special breed of spaghetti to gangsters, and no gangster has ever or even wanted to miss out on his cooking. GANGSTA G and Bugzy supply other thugs and gangsters with Snow Ball Guns, Banana Blasters, and other forms of weaponry. ClockWerk also teaches aspiring gangsters in the art of thievery, and takes his job very seriously.

Bugzy also smuggles Doom Weeds into the mob house, and sells them on the Black Market for some extra cash. No one eats them, they prefer the King's spaghetti. PSA Agents have busted Bugzy numerous times, but have failed to catch him, since he has wings and a tough shell to protect him from snowball blasts.


See also

External Links

   v  d  e
Godfather and Underboss
King Snowkinian | ClockWerk | Link | Gangster Okia
Smuggler Gary | Boss of The Robbers | Professional Hitman
Johnny Tightbeak | Vinnie The Pincher | The Robbers | The Two Random Robots | EscarBOI | Gambler | Leekduck | The Real Hustle Team | Bugzia | Andrew Rapone
Picciottos and Picciottis
Waddle G | Waddle O | Hammer Knight | Olga O'Reilly
Add some!
UPM-operated Locations, Stories and Items
UPM Headquarters | Bugzy's Casino | Villain To Hero | Data World Ultra | LINK STOP LAUGHING MAH BOI | Bugzy's Castle | The Fortress Lodge | Piccotio Days of the Fiendish Five | Key of PWN

Armies, Militias, and Agencies

Good Armies
RPFCPAF Vai Army ForceWatex WarriorsNachosFever FightersThe Mountain SpartansCPNCPNSMCPCPRESparkaFreecie1 ForceTAGPFrosian Warriors
Flywish's ArmyBattering Rams
Evil Armies
Wrath Ninja's ArmyPen Chi NinjasBlizzard RangersFreesh armyDarktan's ArmyCANSAntiFreecieForceMectrixctic's ArmyACPNeo-NaughtzeeCorrupteersHun Elites Time AgencySTINC
Terrorist Groups
TaliBEANPenguin PrankstersAnonymousREPTCP Raider AllianceWalrus Crime RingThe Inquisition
Mafias and Syndicates
UPMMetro Dark GangModfiaTeam SpaceshipTeam StealemShadow, Inc.
Government Sponsored
PSACNICStar ForceMetal ForcePenguin Police TroopAIATerrain Spy UnionEPFLeague of Super PenguinsFAAAFG Secret AgencyThe Royal Army of SnowzerlandThe Royal Army of Waffleland