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Kentucky "The Kernel" McIntosh
The Kernel image
The Kernel.
Vital statistics
Title CEO of Eastshield Fried Fish
Gender Male
Race Dorkugese penguin
Faction He memorized the Secret Recipe.
Health Not Bad, Old (he eats fried food, but is not fat)
Level Head of Staff
Status Reigning his enterprise, reading his recipe.
Location EFF Antarctic Headquarters
Occupation
Interests
Friends
Enemies
Archetype




The Kernel (real name Kentucky McIntosh) is a special, aged Dorkugese penguin and the founder of Eastshield Fried Fish. He is also an infamous food critic, and his hero is Chef Mode Explorer. He is notorious for his yelling and strange accent. He tends to repeat himself and use the phrase "I say" too much, part of his accent.

Background

Like so many non-mainstream penguins, Kentucky's egg was dropped in the snow in Club Penguin. He was born before Dorkugal existed, in August 20, 1937. This was during Olde Antarctica.


From an early age, the little chick was different from his other Dorkugese siblings. He was the youngest of a family of six.


Kentucky looked different from the start. After hatching, it was discovered that the last pair of generic glasses were just given out, so his parents were forced to choose browline-glasses to serve as corrective lenses. Since Dorkugese custom states that all Dorkugese penguins have to use the glasses they are bestowed at birth, the Kernel was one of the first penguins to use this particular type.


At the human equivalent of two, he spoke his first word: "chicken". Though no one knew what a chicken was, it was clear they were going to have a trip raising Kentucky.


Kentucky had a lot of bad luck in apparel, aside from his glasses, he was also given a white robe (it stained very easily) and a strange red necktie (bow ties were out of stock at the time). As he aged, he grew white hair instead of being bald or having a generic color.


In grade school he was openly mocked, much like Koobly Khan, because of his distinct accent and rejection of computers. In sadness, Kentucky turned to cooking. After class he would regularly sneak into the school cafeteria and cook food. Recalling how nasty the lunchroom food was, he ended up conjuring his own recipes, shredding the chef's written version and replacing them with his own, the chef none the wiser.


The students, however, immediently noticed that the food tasted better and went down their throats without gagging (penguins swallow food whole). Naturally, Kentucky's part in the food was unknown, and since the students didn't know it was his recipe in the food, they praised the chef instead, continuing to mock the Kernel as usual.


As he grew, so did his cooking skills, though he kept it secret for reasons unknown. Through middle and high school, he was again ridiculed increasingly, and started to grow a beard in the eighth grade, making mockery all the more.


It wasn't until his graduation from high school, that he, as the Valedictorian of his class, presented in his speech to his lifetime peers (Antarctic schools run K-12, all the grades in one roof) that it was he who provided the food for them since the first grade.


His class and the school faculty were all flabbergasted, and it wasn't until the principal gave the dismissal speech that the students spoke again. After the graduation, the former haters of Kentucky apologized, saying "they had no idea" he was a food genius and pleaded his forgiveness. He accepted and life moved on. In apology, the chef Kentucky secretly cooked for gave him a license to cook and bestowed the title "The Kernel" upon him, which, according to YumYum's biography on Kentucky, was derived from the computing term and corn kernels (Kentucky likes corn).


From there, he enrolled in several culinary institutions and became an excellent chef.


He was thinking about becoming a fancy gourmet restaurant chef around 2000, but turned down a multi-million offer from the newly founded Frys Chalet, because they were "too snooty".


He decided to start his own restaurant chain using the same recipes he fed his haters in school. It was a huge success, and Eastshield Fried Fish was born.

Involvement

The Kernel is considered a villain to Frys Chalet, since he routinely barges in and screams at the manager for having "high prices and snooty staff", also mentioning the constipation he received from eating there, much to the dismay of the guests eating there.

"I say I say, three days of constipation from ya food! I was in the bathroom longer than them puffles are in the wild! Ya should NEVA, I SAY NEVA serve oysters!"


The angered management would call in an officer from Freezeland to "escort" the aged penguin out. In reality, he usually gets thrown out. King Triskelle is currently trying to issue a Restraining Order on Kentucky to no avail.


Some traitorous company employees faked the Kernel's signature and used it to scandalously sell EFF to YumYum without Kentucky's permission. After the deal was sealed, the Kernel found out six months later, firing all involved and starting to routinely yell at YumYum executives as he does at Frys Chalet.


He also routinely patrols his restaurants for YumYum executives and health inspectors, and if the Kernel catches one, he'd yell at them and throw them out of his store.

"-AND STAY OUT, YA TWO-TIMIN' CONIVIN' FORD IN EXECUTIVE'S CLOTHING!"


He was given an office by YumYum as a "headquarters" to silence his rants, but he continues to yell at them to no end. YumYum refuses to surrender EFF back to him despite that it was not his signature on the contract.

Trivia


  • The Kernel's voice has been registered at 87 decibels on average. Prolonged exposure to the Kernel's voice can cause hearing damage.
    • Fred once attended one of the Kernel's rants. His response? "It hertz."


  • Several YumYum executives now wear hearing aids thanks to the Kernel, and all Frys Chalet restaurants carry noise reducing items to prevent "Kentucky-based ear damage".


  • The Kernel is the human equivalent of 62.


  • Kentucky is one of three penguins born on August 20, making him listed as a candidate for The Prophecy, though he is not expected to fulfill it.

See also

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