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Operation De-PWN
The Failed Penghis Khan Assassination image
OH NOES!
Vital statistics
Participants The Society Against the Stupidity of Penghis Khan
Date 12/12/08
Location Pengolia



The Failed Penghis Khan COUP was a failed attempt to overthrow Penghis Khan. Launched by The Society Against the Stupidity of Penghis Khan, a group of Penghis Khan servants who were sick and tired of the "Emperor"'s demands; it was an attempt to take Khan down.

It failed miserabley.

The event

It all started after Penghis Khan called over four of his servants, quote:


Penghis Khan wants his BUBBLE BATH!


The servants were about to deliver the foam for his bath when one stopped and started protesting.


"Why exactly do we serve that guy? We are at least seven times taller!"


"Maybe it's because he's got a fish as big as you, Khan Minion 789."


"Khan Minion 680, I happen to have a name. It's Bob."


"Why does he give us numbers?"


Bob got up on a bench and started impersonating Penghis Khan. Taking a nearby towel for his hat:


"PENGHIS KHAN CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR NAMES. YOU! PENGHIS KHAN WILL NAME YOU KHAN MINION 565!"


The other servants laughed.


"That's a really good impersonation."


"PENGHIS KHAN THANKS YOU FOR COMMENDING PENGHIS KHAN!"


More laughter.


"Seriously though. I'm sick of it. We have fish, right?"


The others nodded.


"We carry vials of Ditto A, right?"


The other nodded.


"So, how about we overthrow Penghis Khan? We've got the power!"


The other servants looked at each other.


"Well, we also built Burger Khan, why not?"


"Okay. Here's the plan..."

Khan Minion 789 explains the plan.


"Got it?"


The others nodded.


"So we surround the Emperor, and put Ditto in his bubble path?"


"Uh huh."


"Then we cart his frozen body into a broom closet in his palace?"


"Uh huh."


"Then we seal the broom closet and hide the door with ficuses?"


"Uh huh."


"Friend, you are crazy."


"Crazy like a Mabel!"


"Oh yeah."


"From now on, we'll call ourselves The Society Against the Stupidity of Penghis Khan!"


"Love the name."


They set out and got the bubble bath.


"SERVANTS! WHERE IS PENGHIS KHAN'S BUBBLE BATH?!"


The servants poured Ditto into Penghis Khan's bubble bath. Handing it to Penghis Khan, they snickered. Penghis Khan looked at the bubble bath.


"SERVANTS! THIS IS THE BLUEBERRY SCENT! PENGHIS KHAN WANTED THE BANANA SCENT! GO BACK AND GET PENGHIS KHAN THE CORRECT BUBBLE BATH!"


The servants groaned. They threw the Ditto-infused blueberry bubble bath, and fetched the banana scent, adding Ditto to it. Taking it back to Penghis Khan, he responded:


"SERVANTS! PENGHIS KHAN CHANGED HIS MIND! HE WANTS THE BLUEBERRY SCENT! GET PENGHIS KHAN HIS BLUEBERRY BATH!"


The servants groaned.


"Sir, we are out of blueberry."


"NONSENSE! YOU JUST SHOWED PENGHIS KHAN A BUNCH OF BLUEBERRY BUBBLE BATH A WHILE AGO!"


Uh-oh. They might be caught! The Society Against the Stupidity of Penghis Khan had to think fast.


"We threw it out. It wasn't good enough for your Imperial PWNage."


"Ah! Good job! Penghis Khan owes you. What do you want from Penghis Khan?"


The servants huddled together. They turned to Khan.


"We want you to go into that closet."


"You want Penghis Khan to go into a closet?"


"Yes."


"Why? Penghis Khan finds coming out of a closet to be creepy."


"You owed us."


"True. Penghis Khan owed you. Penghis Khan will go into the closet."


Penghis Khan turned to the Society.


"There are not any clowns in there... are there?"


"Clowns, sir?"


"Yes. Clowns. After Penghis Khan saw that image in the newspaper, he fears clowns."


"No sir. There are not any clowns in that closet."


Penghis Khan nodded.


"Good. Penghis Khan will enter the closet. Just make sure Penghis Khan's beard does not get stuck in the closet door!"


Penghis Khan entered the closet. Unfortunately, his beard got stuck in the closet door.


"PENGHIS KHAN'S BEARD IS STUCK IN THE DOOR! SERVANTS! OPEN THE DOOR! IT'S LOCKED!"

Nothing.

"SERVANTS! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Silence.

"SERVANTS! SERVANTS!"

Laughter.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY! TELL PENGHIS KHAN!"

More laughter. The phrase "bulls-eye" was heard.


"FOUL CLOSET DOOR, FACE PENGHIS KHAN'S FISH!"


The servants gulped. 789 turned to the rest of the Society.


"You didn't take his fish?!"


They looked at each other.


"You doofuses!"


With a loud "YYAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!", the door was blown to shambles. Penghis Khan stepped out and saw his servants. They had a dartboard with Penghis Khan on it. To the right, a cement truck was about to seal the door, and an adjacent moving van was loaded with ficuses.


For a moment, Penghis Khan said nothing.


"WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS?! WHY IS PENGHIS KHAN ON A DARTBOARD?! WHY ARE THERE CEMENT TRUCKS AND FICUSES IN PENGHIS KHAN'S PALACE?! TELL PENGHIS KHAN!"


The servants said nothing.


"SERVANTS! YOU ARE BAD SERVANTS! OTHER SERVANTS, PUT THESE SERVANTS IN THE BAD PLACE!"


The servants gulped. The "Bad Place" was where bad Pengolians went for a week of nonstop minnow slapping. Rotton minnow slapping. Minnows may be small, but hundreds of them can hurt... and don't even think about the smell!


The other servants dragged the Society to the Bad Place.

Result

The Coup failed. The Society is now being paddled with minnows. Penghis Khan lived on to boss another day.

See also

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