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Kerbpuff
Kirbguin image
Kerbpuff...the most strange and alarming creature ever.
Vital statistics
Title Top Eater
Gender Male
Race Unknown
Faction Kerb W.'s pet
Health Healthy
Level OVER NINE THOUSAND!
Status Being cute
Location Somewhere
Occupation Pet
Interests Eating
Powers Can steal attributes and abilities from other creatures.
Friends Kerb W.
Enemies XeXeXe
Archetype Good



Kerbpuff is a genetic experiment gone wrong, hailing from space and apparently the result of alien meddling. He has a huge beak on a puffles body, with slender eyes and a misplaced mouth. He has the power to eat anything, or in fact inhale it, and then shoot it out at any enemy. He can also steal the attributes of said item.

He is Kerb W's best friend and pet, and XeXeXe's sworn enemy. Even though he's just a pet, XeXeXe's hatred for him burns like a bush, and he will nto cease, he will not stop, he will not rest, until he is clobbered into the ground and deleted.


Background

Book-checked
This tale has been told! It's done!


Chapter One: Encounter with Xet

A while back, Xet and friends were traveling to Antarctica, having been punished dispatched to the earth in order to annex it into the Planet Z empire. While scouting for a place to call home, Xet happened to fly over a puffle farm, where he abducted a puffle... Sye claims to have transcripted it...


Xet: What do you think this is, servant?

Vam: It's cotton!

Xet: Hmm... cotton?

Vam: Yeah! It's all soft and cuddly!

Xet: ...Vam, that's not cotton, it's a puny earth creature.

Terrifed squeaking sounds can be heard.

Xet: We must find out what is within this... earthling. COMPUTER!

Mechanical voice: Yes, master?

Xet: IDENTIFY THIS HEATHEN!

Mechanical voice: Would it hurt to say please, master?

Xet: SILENCE!!

Mechanical voice: This creature is called a "Puffle". It is the pet of penguins and is adored by all.

Xet: I have no use for him at the moment.

Vam: Oooh! Oooh! Let's rip him apart!

More terrified squeaking sounds.

Xet: Yes, let's do so. Vam, get me my dissecting tools of DOOM.

Drawers are heard opening, followed by the clanging of silverware and what sounds like a drill.

Chapter Two: The Fought Police

The drilling stops, as an exploding or warping sound is heard, followed by a booming, echoing voice.

Voice: STOP!!

Xet: Who are you? How did you get on my ship?

Voice: That's none of your business, twerp. I'm here to enforce the rules.

Xet: I'll never obey you, puny... whatever you are!

Voice: What I am means nothing. You will obey.

Xet: No!

Another booming sound is heard.

Xet: The poofle! WHERE IS THE POOFLE?!

Voice: See, if you don't obey me- the rules... things happen.

Vam: Oh look, more cotton! It needs a hug!

A whirring sound is heard, like that of suction on someone's hair.

Voice: What is this insolent vacuum robot doing nuzzling on me?! GET IT OFF! Aack, it's sucking up my fur!

Xet: Vam, halt!

The whirring continues.

Voice: DESIST!

The whirring sound of Vam on the Voice fades.

Xet: He... he obeyed...

Voice: Of course he did.

A thud is heard.

Xet: Master, what is your command?

Voice: Hmm... well, first off, don't gruesomely dissect that puffle.

Xet: Yes sir! ...-and?

Voice: Fetch me a snack.

Footsteps are heard.

Xet: Your food, master.

Voice: Disgusting! I strongly abhor alien food!

Xet: Forgive me!

Voice: Okay.

Xet: Can't I ex-

Voice: What's that puffle doing?

Vam: Oh, he's just goin' into the contaminated chamber of doom!

Xet: Aah! I keep my penguin components in there! Vam, stop him!

Whirring is heard.

Voice: GET OFF OF ME!

An explosion is heard in the background, as static begins.

Xet: What... what is that hideous beast?

Voice: I... I don't know.

Second Voice: HI!!

Vam: HI!

Second Voice: Poyo!

Vam: Poyo poyo! TOAST!

Both laugh.

Xet: Vam, stop socializing with the mutant!

Voice: You are very stupid.

Second Voice: Poyo!

Voice: Oi... this is a pathetic excuse for a parody...

Xet: Paro-what?

Strong winds are heard.

Vam: Wow! It's a vacuum!

Xet: Aaah, it's sucking up the chemicals! No, no! NNOOOOO!!! Vam! STOP HIM!

Vam: YES-MASTER.

Xet: Aah, obedience mode! Sic him, my robot!

Vam: YES-MASTER.

Zapping, the wind stops.

Xet: HA HA HA HA!!

Second Voice: (weakly) Po... yo.......

Xet: HA HA HA HA! Vam, dispose of this nuisance!

No response.

Vam: Look, I can go in circles! Wheeeeee!!

Xet: Oh...

Footsteps and more "Poyo" are heard.

Xet: Into this star-shaped escape hatch, heathen!

Whirring and rocket launchers are heard.


End Transmission


Chapter Three: Looks Like an Alien Invader

Alien Invaduh03:51

Alien Invaduh

Kirbguin's Theme.


After Sye's report, a star-shaped item was rumored to have crashed in the countryside, just north of Snellville. Boss XeXeXe was busy trying to slam an Un-CP goon, and he happened to come across it.

"What's this?" the penguin asked.

As he studied it, sounds were coming from within.

"Looks like an alien invader!! I'd better smash it with my shovel!"

Then, Kerbpuff popped out, much to XeXeXe's horror.


"Hiiii!!"


Then, he ran off. XeXeXe began to breath heavily, his eyes filled with anger.

"I don't know what that was... I don't care. It's the most horrible thing I ever seen. It's gonna be mah goal... no, mah destiny... to CLOBBAH that there... whatever it is!"


XeXeXe lifted his huge shovel up high, as if making a pledge of sorts.



Chapter Four: Kerbpuff and Kerb

He was curious about his surroundings, and without a word, began eating everything in site. Residents and victims of his appetite chased him out of every town he went to. He was like a living vacuum, sucking everything around him into the spiraling vortex of his digestive system.

His mysterious abilities, excessive appetite, and bizarre appearance really prevented him from any friends. Kerbpuff was a born wanderer. He longed for a friend, and cake. Mostly, cake.

A friend was made when Kerbpuff met Kerb W., a penguin with a similar appetite and inhaling abilities. Kerb named the little creature "Kerbpuff" after himself, as well as Kerbpuff's appearance. The two became inseparable friends, and they now travel Antarctica together.


Fin



Involvement

For reasons unknown, he ends up being an accidental hero most of the time, as does his master, Kerb W..

Unlike his master, Kerbpuff possesses the ability to swipe multiple attributes from items he inhales (and subsequently spits out), and he receives free headgear to boot. If he inhaled and spit out TurtleShroom (penguin), for example, he would suddenly know a little too much about the strings that control the system and be granted a free triple-tiered crown. He would be able to call upon minions and use a Deletion Rod in battle.

In order to remove his attributes, he must receive a swift slap upon the back of what constitutes his head, usually from his master.


Trivia

  • He is rather cute.
  • He is very strange.
  • Maddieworld thinks he's the most adorable thing on earth, and has a secret obsession over him.
  • Kerb W. makes little remark about him. Secretly, he is jealous of his attribute stealing abilities.
  • XeXeXe will stop at nothing to destroy him.
  • Kerbpuff is still a baby, despite it's strengh.

See also

External Links

  • He is a parody of Kirby.

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