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Intercontinental KZT Triple X Deletion Missile Supreme Deluxe
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Kablooka!
Vital statistics
Type Intercontinental, ballistic Deletion Missile
Effects NUKES TEH TARGET
Source Lichenblossom
Location IN YUR ARMY
Cost to buy Price unassessed
Cost to sell Price unassesed



The Intercontinental KZT Triple X Deletion Missile Supreme Deluxe, normally addressed as KZT Triple X, XXX, Big Mama, or TEH NUKE, is the largest, most powerful, most lethal, and costliest Deletion Missile that exists. Only ten have ever been built, five of these belonging to the USA, two belonging to UnitedTerra and two belonging to Major Sheep (he fired pn during the Eastshield Missile Crisis) . These missiles must be launched on PASA's rocket launchpads with assigned computers and professional missile drivers.

Description

XXX missiles are famous for their appearance, differing from all other types. They are ninety feet taller than a Jupiter V 3000, and are colored jet black with alternating red and yellow bands from top to bottom. Phrases are normally written on the missile's side, including, but not limited to, "E.T. GO HOME!", "TEH NUKE", "FEAR ME", "JO MOMMA" and "YOUR TAX MONEY AT WORK".

XXX missiles consist of a first stage rocket booster, a second stage warhead containment unit (also containing a guidance system), and a spherical warhead containing a half-ton piece of Deletion Flux Crystal. The warhead is covered in five heat-resistant panels that form a conical heat shield around it.

XXX missiles must be launched at ninety seven degrees straight up until they exit the planet's atmosphere. There the missile shuts off its core power and rotates until it reaches its target, through means of smaller engines in its fins. The missile continues to float, undetected by alien probes. After 15 minutes of making targeting adjustments, the missile ejects its first stage and shoots the warhead into the atmosphere at an oblique angle, with the driver making improvised adjustments to ensure accuracy from launch to impact. The second stage remains in orbit as space junk, the first stage falling to Earth.

Once it re-enters the atmosphere, there is no stopping the missile. The warhead ejects all five panels that comprise its heat shield and opens a drag chute to slow itself down. A few seconds later, the drag chute is ejected as well and a set of retractable jet engines and propellers spring out of the warhead, enabling it to fly for about 12 minutes nonstop before all its reserve power runs out. As it flies over its target's center, the warhead delivers a powerful electric shock to the half-ton piece of Deletion Flux Crystal inside. The warhead explodes in a burst of energy, and a force field surrounds the target structure and consumes it.

XXX missiles weigh three tons and can delete structures up to two thousand square kilometers in area. They are rarely ever used, and a certain treaty makes it risky to do so.

Jupiterxxx

Size comparison

Trivia

  • XXX missiles are not classified at all, at the reccomendations of The Defenders and Team Corvus. Their more intelligent members (namely Doctor Logic and Fourth Wall Corvus) pointed out that the knowledge of nukes being armed and ready deters enemies from war much more effectively than force. It's simple pacifying intimidation, they stated.
  • XXX missiles, unlike their brethren, are adjustable. The missile driver can, before launch, tell the missile's internal computer how much voltage it should shock the warhead with, and thus, how much area will be deleted.
  • Actually, an even bigger missile exists called The Humongous Insane Superweapon that is 100ft taller. However it is not a deletion missile and is too big to use safely without risking blowing up the world.
  • Explorer thinks the missile's color scheme is "punny".
  • It is rumored that THAT'S MY CAR wrote the tax money remark on one of the missiles, as he fears big government.
  • NASA currently does not know of the missile's existence. If they did, this would go kablooka.

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