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Fort Kosher, LLC
Fort Kosher image
The pickle facotry in its heyday, pre-destruction.
Fort Kosher map
The factory just before its destruction.
Vital statistics
Type Pickle Factory
Level Ranges from Vinegar to Brine
Location What is now Redlink Abbey
Inhabitants Enslaved Nerds (pre-destruction)


Fort Kosher was the largest kosher dill pickle factory in Antarctica prior to its destruction in 1972. It was the number one pickle supplier to Olde Antarctica.

Background

Founded in 1962 by the Squashins (a relative of the Jacko species), Fort Kosher was the leading producer of pickles in the entire continent. However, as the demand for pickles grew, first in jars, then in barrels, then in kegs, the Squashins quickly learned that they needed a new workforce. Being a rather evil bunch of vegetables, the Squashins ravaged Lichenblossom Forest and enslaved every nerd they could catch to work in their factories, much as the Naughtzee did to the High Penguins.

The demand just kept going up and up and up... though, the nerds had had it.

On the eve of the factory's ten-year anniversary, the nerd-founded CAPIL (Convention Against Pickling In Lichenblossom) revolted, and in a mass arson, they shot bombs at the factory with a giant catapult while bursting one of the hydroelectric dams up the Lichen River, flooding and burning the fortress at the same time. In less than one hour, Fort Kosher was no more.

After Fort Kosher was destroyed, the CAPIL voted to create what would become Redlink Abbey over the remains of the factory. The largest pickle supplier later became Pickle de Antarcticque, the first french-speaking company in Antarctica.

Rebuilding

Several penguins decided to continue the factory's name UNDER a non-villanious way. They decided to shift its operations to Pengu Town, Trans-Antarctica and hire penguins under a high pay.

Map

In its heyday, there were four floors, three dedicated to the pickling process and one reserved just for the Squashins.

On floor one, the cucumbers were loaded into the vinegar by nerds.

Floor two involved the ferementation and actual pickling. Nerds were forced to carry barrel fulls of pickles up to this floor and set them down for the fermentation process.

Floor three was the shipping center. Logic would say that the distribution area should be on the BOTTOM floor, but not so. The Squashins had the nerds carry them by hand down the two floors and load them onto the steam train which would take them out of there.

Floor four was the living quarters of the Squashins. From here they commanded the giant pickle factory and relaxed, surrounded by their ubiquituous luxuries.... while the nerds suffered.

Inhabitants

When the building stood, nerds and Squashins were abundant.


Villains

What part of enslavement do you not understand? The Squashins are clearly the villains.


Resources

Fort Kosher Mmm... pickles...



There WAS one more product other than pickles. In 1971, they released Antarctica's first electronic toy, the Yodeling Pickle. By the time the factory was bunt down, over 100,000,000 Yodelling Pickles were sold. There now only 100,000 left in existence, making them HIGHLY collectible. What's more, the government owns the patent and copyright to the item, so nobody is authorized to make Yodelling Pickles (even though tons of people want them) except them. Since pickles are so hated in Lichenblossom, the government won't be disclosing it anytime soon.


Trivia

  • This is a parody of Fort Kotir from the Redwall series.
  • Fort Kosher was featured in the book Lichenblossom, from the Redlink series.

See also

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