# Ditto (chemical)

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Ditto is a strange chemical mixture used in warfare and in everyday situations. No one really knows where it came from or who invented it, but it's darn useful (and quite deadly in certain cases, too).

Ditto has three isomers. Each isomer has the same molecular formula, but different arrangements of atoms, giving it different chemical properties. The three isomers are named A, B, and C. Ditto A and B are enantiomers, which means they are mirror-images of each other. Ditto C is a meso compound. Ditto Plus is a racemic mixture of Ditto A and Ditto B.

## History

Ditto's history is mostly unknown beyond the year 1979. The two Snell-Libros are doing extensive research on the substance, though they doubt they'll ever uncover the origins of this mysterious mixture.

The earliest records of Ditto date back to 1979, when STINC forces acquired large amounts of Ditto A and B from local Leopard Seal criminals. This event may have directly influenced the rise of STINC-zachal in 1980. It is known that Ditto C was developed during the Revolutionary War by rebel forces in an attempt to create a new chemical weapon, derived from Ditto A and/or B, though it mostly failed. The resulting Ditto type was fed to the generals so as to increase their intelligence on the battlefield.

The only research plant for Ditto was in the village of Pingko. While it discovered that Ditto A, B, and C were all isomers, it blew up before any further research could be conducted. Studies on Ditto are currently being performed in South Pole City.

## Effects

In order of most severe to least severe, as follows:

• Ditto A causes complete incapacitation (i.e. drop stunned on the floor) and, in rare cases, submissiveness (i.e. "Yes, Master") to anyone, even your worst enemy.
• Ditto B causes hyperactivity, amnesia, insanity, and overall weirdness.
• Ditto C causes increased intelligence and nerdiness. Think of it as maximum overload.

## Properties

Ditto A always appears as a yellow-green fluid (liquid or gas). Ditto A is virtually impossible to freeze due to its highly crystallization-resistant chemical structure, and has a boiling point of -40 °C (-40 degrees °F). It is also highly flammable (see Pingko Disaster), with a flash point of 81 °F. It is rendered inactive by citric acid.

Ditto B is always found as a sticky, clay-like solid, a soft, brown powder, a thick brown liquid, or a light-brown gas that smells like coffee. It has a melting point of 37 °C (96.8 °F). It is very hard to vaporize. Ditto B is extremely shock-sensitive in its solid phase and will detonate upon aggravation or ignition. It is also highly reactive with water and water vapor in powder form and must be stored under oil.

Ditto C is commonly found as a grey, sugar-like powder that has a melting point of 1538 °C (2800 °F) and a boiling point of 2862 °C (5182 °F). When it is dissolved in water, it beomes a very sticky paste that can stick metal to metal. This paste was implemented in the design of Dorkugal's Wooden Skyscraper.

Ditto Plus is a soupy sickly green liquid, stained brown by the Ditto B it contains. In liquid form, it is harmless on contact and will only take effect upon ingestion (i.e., being swallowed). However, in vapor form, it is extremely potent, like Ditto A vapor. Like Ditto A, it is rendered useless by citric acid.

### Cure

There are three cures, one for each kind of Ditto.

The cure for Ditto A is pretty simple. The patient should be fed with lots of orange juice or O-Berry juice.

The cure for Ditto B is a simple anesthetic to calm down the patient (there is no known chemical that can deactivate Ditto B directly). The treatment must be constantly supplied for one to two hours.

The cure for Ditto C is the most complicated. This is due to the fact that Ditto C rapidly creates new connections between neurons in the brain. The process is irreversible, so the nerdiness has to be taken away with therapy. The patient must first eat nothing but cookie dough for one whole day. Then the patient is monitored closely for the entirety of the next day. If the patient even attempts to do anything nerdy, he/she will be blasted with high pressure water jets until he/she stops. The next day, the patient must watch a music video of Redlink Abbey's elevator music (a link is here) no less than 12 times. Finally, the patient must repeat the statement "I am not a nerd" over and over again for 5 minutes nonstop.

Doctors have marked similarities between Ditto C's cure and the brainwashing methods from the Anti-Imagination Fish-Slapping Reformitory School. In fact, the inventor of the cure claimed that he was inspired by the Reformitory School's efficient processes and used them for a good cause.

The cure for Ditto Plus is orange juice/O-Berry juice and anesthetic. The orange juice contains citric acid, which disables Ditto A, and the anesthetic counteracts Ditto B.

## Uses

All Ditto is used in different ways, but Penghis Khan likes to bribe people with it. It is also a cure for X-Virus. Ditto Plus can't be used as a cure.

### Ditto A

Ditto A has many different uses.

• Ditto A is used extremely often as an explosive, due to its high flammability.
• Used in minute amounts in the Snow Ball Gun. Specifically, it is added to the water that is frozen as the gun's ammo, allowing the modified snowball to stun an opponent for 30 seconds (see Snow Ball Gun article).
• Used like dry ice, to make green mist in movie special effects. This practice is uncommon now due to safety standards. Prior to the Pingko Explosion, HollySnow ordered a lot of Ditto A.
• Ditto A, being an enantiomer, is optically active and can be used to polarize light.

### Ditto B

Ditto B is used as a shock-sensitive primary charge, mostly in Deletion Missiles and hand grenades. Like Ditto A, it is also optically active and can be used to polarize light.

It could also eventually be used as a pharmaceutic drug. It is being tested as an ingredient in energy drinks and pills due to its properties.

### Ditto C

An aqueous solution of Ditto C works as a superior adhesive that can stick anything to anything for at least one century. This adhesive was used in the construction of Dorkugal's wooden skyscraper, the Googolplex, and is currently being mass-produced by the Dorkugese, since they are the only penguins besides Fred who are immune to the substance. Other than that, Ditto C has no other uses.

Ditto C is also being tested as a knowledge booster, though all the test subjects came out saying "$x=\frac{-b \pm \sqrt {b^2-4ac}}{2a}$" repeatedly.

### Ditto Plus

Ditto Plus has similar uses to Ditto B and Ditto A.

• Ditto Plus is can also be used in chemical warfare as a potent vapor sprayed on the battlefield. In vapor form, Ditto Plus starts working upon inhalation by the victim.