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The Narrator's Omnibus is a filing cabinet that is bottomless. It contains all the abandoned articles, stories, ideas and scraps that have been put in there by Mayor McFlapp or by Director Benny. The filing cabinet stands in the Coffee Room at the Bureau of Fiction. Any member of staff can take a record out of the omnibus, change it or expand it, then submit it to Director Benny for approval. These "Adopted Articles" are given a red ribbon when filed in the Department of Article Management, and the staff who edited it first has all OOC rights. However, some staff, mainly Bureau of Entropy spies, create articles that could be potentially dangerous so the Bureau has a member of the Moose in Black track them down and delete them. THe Omnibus seems to radiate Wutt Energy, suggesting that it has more powers than previously thought. Neither Mayor McFlapp or the Masters have discovered the Omnibus' full powers, but they know it makes excellent hot chocolate.

Windows file cabinet

The Omnibus

Articles for adoption[]

Add unedited articles here.

History[]

"Hey Mayor, whatcha doing?"


Mayor McFlapp was in a mess. His top hat was lopsided, his feathers were ruffled and he looked as if he hadn't slept in a week.


"Kwik, m'lad," he croaked. "I'm under a bally lot of stress, wot! Th' Department of Article Management been bally complaining about all these flippin' "Under Construction" stories they have. They say it's taking up the file space, wot!"


The mayor poured himself a drink of water from the watercooler. Several words flew out, then dissolved into water. The mayor drank a little, then dunked the rest all over himself.


"Ahhh, that's jolly better, wot!" said the Mayor, looking refreshed. "As I was saying, I've been trying to finish the flippin' things, but I've got Writer's Block! I can't delete them either, I'm too fond of them."


Kwiksilver thought for a second. "Why don't you just give those stories out to the community and see what they make of it?"


Mayor McFlapp jumped into the air. "Flippin' brilliant idea, m'laddo!" Let's give them out to staff, wot!"


"Settle down, mayor," said Kwiksilver, "We need a type of filing cabinet....something that'll have a lot of space."


"I know just th' thing!" exclaimed the Mayor. He ran into an elevator, Kwiksilver close behind him.


The elevator stopped on floor 53. "Storage" said the disembodied Microsoft Sam voice that resided in the elevator. Mayor McFlapp and Kwiksilver walked out, then stopped in awe.


The room was filled with junk. Old papers, weapons, bookcases, - you name it, it was there. Piled from floor to ceiling.


Mayor McFlapp was walking down the narrow space between the piles, murmuring "Two down, three across." He turned a corner and started to dig in a pile.


Kwiksilver went to help him, and together they pulled out a slightly glowing filing cabinet.


"The Narrator's Omnibus!" said the Mayor, smiling. "Ordered this from a flippin' Wikia Catalog years ago. Never thought I'd use it, wot!"


Together, they dragged the surpisingly heavy filing cabinet back to the elevator.


Four hours and a lot of moving articles later, the filing cabinet stood in the Coffee Room, glowing a bright blue. Mayor McFlapp and Kwiksilver stood back, admiring their handiwork.


"Blimey," said Kwiksilver, "Who knew stories could be so heavy?"


"That's the bally redlinks, wot!" said the Mayor, "That's why we have to edit those."


An employee waddled into the coffee room, and stared at the cabinet. He pulled a file out of the Omnibus. It was labeled, 141 Quarry. He took out a pen and began writing in it.


"Y'know, Kwik m'laddo, this could make a good introduction, wot?" said the Mayor.


"Actually," said Kwik, "It would. It'd be a great intro. You'd better go extract it from the story log."


THE END.

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